10 senses that manipulators always play on
However, you do not need to become insensitive and callous, fleeing from dishonest manipulation.
Bright Side shares with you the most common tricks of cunning people and ways to set boundaries for yourself.
Guilt
A person under the yoke of a sense of guilt is ready to do a lot, just to compensate for the harm. This is exactly what the manipulator needs to impose guilt.- Are you so guilty? And don't you take on a lot, feeling responsible for the emotional state of the other person? His reaction is his choice. Even if you actually did something wrong, sincerely apologize, but don't let the manipulator control you.
Fear of losing face
The manipulator provokes not only for the sake of direct benefit for himself, but also in order to amuse his pride, to feel power, or just to have fun. Insecure people become victims, because their fear of losing face is very strong.- Think, first of all, whether you need it. And do not fall for provocations - you are not stronger than you are, and not omnipotent. And there is nothing to be ashamed about. You shouldn't risk yourself for the sake of maintaining a dubious image.
Call of Duty
Close relatives and friends are especially successful at using pressure on a sense of duty. And it is close manipulators who can greatly complicate life.- It is important to clearly understand the limits of your capabilities. Yes, you should help, but that does not mean that you should automatically suffer and be uncomfortable . Of course, it is difficult to refuse a loved one. But you can find a reasonable compromise and meet halfway not to the detriment of your interests.
Fear of rejection
By constantly blackmailing a partner, the manipulator bargains for himself benefits for the promise to love and be close. He takes advantage of the victim's fear of being rejected.- If love can be bought, it is only for love, but not for material goods and endless services. It is important to learn to respect yourself and load yourself deeply into the subconscious with the idea that you are worthy of disinterested love and friendship.
Feelings of gratitude
The feeling of gratitude can be played endlessly, recalling the long-standing invaluable service at every opportunity. And many manipulators - consciously or not - take advantage of this.- If you are uncomfortable with fulfilling requests, you do not have to . Find a way that is comfortable for you to pay off a friendly debt and do not fall for dishonest manipulations.
Feelings of pity
- Praise the manipulator . If he tries to dump something on you, hiding behind his suffering, tell him that he, so talented, will handle it much better. And you believe in him. Say it sincerely, and you will not only stop manipulation, but also leave a positive impression of yourself.
Fear of being alone
Many people tolerate a rude and unloved person nearby, just because they are afraid of being alone. The manipulator periodically hits self-esteem aptly, and it is more and more difficult for the victim to get rid of the fear of uselessness.- Believe in yourself, respect yourself, love. This is the only way you can soberly assess the attitude of other people towards you and not fall into the trap of the fear of loneliness.
Shame
Shame is the excruciating feeling of being inadequate or wrong. A person is ready for a lot, just to avoid this unpleasant feeling, and manipulators skillfully use this.- If you are diligently trying to shame, you should be wary. After all, if you made a mistake, you can correct it, apologize. And you certainly shouldn't be ashamed of your inadequacy to anyone's expectations. Your sense of shame is only needed by manipulators to control you.
Hope
Manipulation of Hope. The sly man promises mountains of gold or promises that he will definitely change his behavior. But the purpose of his words is the momentary benefits that a victim, touched by good intentions, can give him.- Do not take the word of the sly ones. See real action. Set specific deadlines, set specific requirements. And don't let empty hopes change your thoughts and intentions.
Vanity
How does vanity manipulation work? A classic example is the fable about the crow and the fox. From the outside, it may seem like an innocent compliment, only the purpose of the manipulator is not at all to please you.- Before giving in to a flatterer, weigh your interests, capabilities and desires. And to the sweet "Only you can handle this" you can simply answer: "Thank you for thinking so, I am very pleased, but I have other plans."
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